Category Archives: Uncategorized

Humira and My Psoriasis- First Injection Debacle

I am going through an overwhelming emotional breakdown. After tons of screw ups by the insurance company and the pharmacy, I finally had my Humira starter kit for psoriasis. I worked up the courage to take it (I’ve injected insulin before without a problem). I set it up, hit the button, but my arm INVOLUNTARILY pulled the needle from my leg. 😦 So then, I immediately burst into tears at the shock of it going so badly. But wait, it gets worse…

So the second shot… I am all upset and I think to myself, I will have my mother come over and do it. But I can’t reach her. She is doing remodeling and is living in the cellphone badlands of Home Depot. I am upset. I decide to have my husband do the shot because I have left the shot sitting outside of the refrigerator for some time now, and if I don’t do it now, it will be ruined. I give it to him, trying to be brave, but the tears keep coming. I am upset and scared and overwhelmed. Just then, I hear a bump upstairs. It sounds like my four year old daughter has possibly fallen. I yell up to her, “Are you ok?!” NO answer. I tell my husband, “Well, go check on her!” He starts to run off with the pen, but that isn’t safe! I take it from him and do the dumbest thing ever- I try to cap it, and succeed in releasing the dose across my living room. “[Insert loud swearing here]” My husband comes running to see what happened and finds me absolutely bawling my eyes out with a pen that is shooting liquid onto our sliding glass door and curtains.

I am a mess and I am out of TWO doses.

I called Humira and they are sending replacements, a visiting nurse to help me with injection instructions, and more. My mother calls and she comes to give me the two remaining doses I have. I do them, and it hurts. I am now stressed beyond belief. I don’t know if I can do this on my own. I don’t know that I can continue this treatment. Part of me wants it to work and rid my of my psoriasis forever. Another part of me hopes it doesn’t… because I don’t want to go through this all of the time. 😦

I have had the injections. It is ten minutes out and I am feeling nauseous, dizzy, tired and disoriented. I am sure ti’s more the stress than anything else. My legs don’t hurt anymore.  I definitely feel out of sorts though. I need some tea, I think. Some knitting and some tea. I will keep this up to date.

Me

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Making My Therapist Laugh When I Can’t

So I have to wonder how it is that people think laughing is the best therapy. I think that the best type of therapy is making someone else laugh. It’s like a two-fer. I laugh because they laughed. Or maybe a three-fer because I also feel like I accomplished something in the process. I told my couple’s therapist that I have no marketable skills and therefore cannot get out of my (at the moment) unhappy marriage/life. I was so depressed I actually made a list of things to do before I killed myself. Yeah, luckily for me and everyone else, I knew the moment would pass, but a writer writes. ALWAYS. Right?

[Anyway, I am better now so don’t get all emotional or I may have to tell a really bad joke and then you won’t feel so negative about me ending it all.]

I don’t even remember the stupid joke I told her, but she laughed. Now is she REQUIRED to laugh if I am trying to be funny while suicidally lamenting that I am bad at everything? I wonder what the statistics are on stand up comedy suicide. I would think it’s pretty high. Ah, research! http://open.salon.com/blog/newfort/2009/06/13/why_do_comedians_have_a_higher_suicide_rate

I am right. (As usual). Bah.

So I am supposed to be a stand up comedian?? I liked the fact that I can make my therapist laugh. I have always used comedy as a way of blowing off the reality of life. I am only smart and funny around very specific people. It is so bizarre. So I guess I need to make them my sidekick. Like Conan has.

In the very moment I told that stupid (obviously forget-able) joke I was cured. I had proved myself wrong. I highly recommend that when you are feeling down that you DON’T go in search of a funny movie. It is WAY better to crack some joke-whip at someone else. No friends? Go to therapy. 😉

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