Hi. Yeah. I’m losing my “B” card… I am doing something I thought I would never have time for… (if you haven’t yet figured out what that is, you need to move along…).
I haven’t journaled in a long time. BC (before children), I would write almost daily in these composition books. I would write all over them, in crazy directions, taping in funny magazine clippings, Bazooka Joe comics and ALL of my fortunes from oodles of chinese take out orders. I still save all of my fortunes. I find them floating around like mini hoarder-trash.
I insist that maybe when my children are old enough (but not old enough to give me grandchildren to take up my time) I will spend a day (or a week) actually tending to this hobby. My older daughter (B) occasionally tries to steal the ones she finds lying around the house, but I grab them away like a toddler and say, “Nope!” (Childish, I know…) My second child (A) is only interested in eating the fortune cookie itself. She could care less if it has her “lucky number” or the meaning of life written on it. She lives in the here and now. I wish I could live in the “here and now”, but I am too busy tending to my children’s “here and now”. (Which I am so lucky to be able to do!)
I read an article (you know, “THE Article” in TIME that was released last week to a firestorm of controversy?) and I thought about what the author (a shrewish girl with low standards, who quite apparently has no children of her own) thought about the way I choose to parent. My husband brought home the magazine from his work the day it came in (he knew I’d want to see it). For a whole week it sat, untouched, on my desk. I (finally) got the irritation out of my head long enough to read it with an open mind. I was really dreading reading it because I had a strong suspicion that it would vilify attachment parenting, breastfeeding, and Dr. Bill Sears (whom I have so much respect for). Of course, I was mostly right to dread the article. Though she made small attempts at devil’s advocacy, her overall tone was scornful and sarcastic.
While it is true that the “Mommy Wars” can get absurdly out of hand, I still have to say that I love the idea that we are doing what WE feel is best for our children- and yes, this includes our partners. (Co-sleeping is my husbands’ choice too!) We do a combination of cloth diapering and disposable diapers that are biodegradable. Yes, we try to feed our family organic/whole foods whenever possible. My youngest (who is just over two) is still breastfeeding and will not be stopped before she is ready. We try to let her walk whenever possible, but we use slings and soft structured carriers when she gets tired. Do we sometimes use a stroller? Sure. Do we occasionally allow our children “junk food”? Sure. Do our children watch TV from time to time? Sure.
I think the problem is the over-thinking that people do. As one web commenter on WNYR’s coverage of the piece put it, “…he just wouldn’t stay in the crib at my brother’s house….so I let him sleep in bed next to me. What a revelation.” She went on to say that she realized that her motherly instincts were so honed on the safety of her baby that, even in sleep, she sensed his presence and knew that she would never roll over onto him- it JUST WASN’T POSSIBLE. You see, it was a natural LOGICAL solution to her problem. The child was uncomfortable, so he went in her bed. When she realized that it wasn’t the horror story everyone said it was, she could breathe a sigh of relief and ENJOY the bonding with her child.
I also want to point out to all the nay-sayers that in spite of attachment parenting, there are PLENTY of multi-child families running around. I bring this up to dismiss the rumors that are floating around that you “will never have sex again” if you attachment parent. This should put those people to rest… If you can’t find a way to have sex in this co-sleeping situation, then you are either not terribly creative or you need me to email you the name of a few divorce attorneys…
Lastly, ATTACHMENT PARENTING IS NOT A SYMPTOM OF BREASTFEEDING!! (Notice when I type the WORD breastfeeding I type it as all one word? That is because it isn’t about BREASTS. It’s about breastFEEDING.) Breastfeeding is mutually exclusive from all of the other parenting CHOICES people make. The overall take-away? MIND YOUR OWN BREASTS. Start parenting your OWN children instead of worrying about mine and if you don’t have any children yet? S.T…FRONTDOOR. 😉